But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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