I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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