Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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