I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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