Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
