I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
