he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
