I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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