oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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