I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
