"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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