gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
She told me I should be a condom model.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Randomize
