I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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