with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
