Whod you bang
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
