He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
it wasn't lemon gatorade
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
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