That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
