Kiss
Puke
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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