Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Randomize
