If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Randomize
