She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
