I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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