Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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