i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
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