I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Randomize
