So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
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