i just had sex bonerless
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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