Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
