I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Randomize