Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
