am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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