Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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