and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
So much rum. So many feels.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
