cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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