Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
