plz talk dirty to me
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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