Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
