youre lurking in front of me
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
