My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
