Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
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