Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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