similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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