Tell her she can't have a vagina
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
