Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
