Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
True strength comes from lack of pants
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Randomize
