Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
