Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
