alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
so much tequila, so little girl.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
