Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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