Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
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