I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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