I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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