He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
