I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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