We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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