will power is for people who don't want to get laid
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize