i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
