Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
