All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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