i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
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