Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
