too bad you live with your parents still
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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